FILM SPOT - The Collector (2010)

Saw has become one of the saddest things to happen to the modern horror film. It's like the coolest kid at a party. Saw waltzes into a party in its flashy trainers and sunglasses, and all of a sudden, as it downs its fifth shot and gets off with the hot girl under the coats, everyone else there wants to be like it. Which is what essentially has happened. Ever since Saw's release in 2004, the imitators have come thick and fast, or at least, a thousand films that resemble it have also been released. Also to blame for this is Eli Roth's Hostel series, with its graphic mutilations and almost leering love of watching people get tortured that has helped, along with Saw, to mutate the modern horror film into something deeply turgid and determined to offend somebody so it can put 'Unbelievably Shocking!' on its poster. Before we start, The Collector was apparently supposed to be a prequel to the Saw series, so perhaps saying it has ripped off Saw is a tad unfair - but the fact it is not a Saw film and is its own beast says something of the sheer influence Saw has had in what these films have become.

The Collector did not look promising from the off. 'From the writers of Saw IV, V and VI' is perhaps not a way to sell a film, and given that Saw V was about as much fun as watching your favourite pet being hit at high speed by a Formula 1 car, I was not hopeful. Then I saw a positive review in the usually reliable Empire magazine. A four star review is usually a provocative one. So, girlfriend in the lead, I headed for Wood Green to find out which opinion was in fact, the correct one. So, what did I think? My ultimate view falls somewhere in-between. It was not as good as the review proclaimed, and was neither as bad as I originally thought it may be. The Collector's main problem is that it is remarkably unremarkable. The story, as it is, follows a petty thief who in a desperate attempt to pay his girlfriend's loan sharks, breaks into a house he has been helping refurbish, and goes to get their valuables to sell. It is not long after he arrives when he realizes that he is not alone, and starts playing a game of violent cat and mouse with a faceless villain (the erstwhile Collector) who has turned the house into a deathtrap.

Something evil lurks in the basement. As usual.

First off, it's good the action is kept in the house. It is tight, claustrophobic and surprisingly pared down considering what it could have become. The problems Arkin (Josh Stewart) has to face are largely of the survival variety, such as finding bullets for a gun or getting a knife to defend himself. Something of a refreshing change after the almost absurd complexities of Saw's survival situations ('This game involves you realizing the inefficiency of western philosophy as a compromise to true eastern spirituality, and if you do not comprehend this within thirty seconds, a bear trap will close on your genital area while a lethal poison slowly passes through the hot dog you just ate while simultaneously a razor blade forms out of black hole matter inside your lower intestinal tract!!'). It's all dark and, perhaps this was a tad cheesy but I loved it, it takes place during a thunderstorm. The early portion of the film is a terrific and almost chokingly tense chase, largely revolving around Arkin avoiding the mysterious collector and boy, is it edge-of-your-seat stuff. It is when the traps appear this all starts to go a little hooey.

Its origin as a prequel to Saw becomes rather clear, as these nefarious traps have trademark of Saw written all over them. Tripwires that set off man traps, swinging axes that sever hands, knives attached to handily droppable chandeliers...it all feels a bit like Home Alone but with more gore and less Macaulay Culkin. Traps, traps galore. It's very uninspired. The action of his film all takes place in the same day, so if you can buy the idea of a psychotic killer wiring up an entire house with seriously complex and lethal traps within a few hours on his own, this section of the film may not seem as stupid to you. One trap that involves acidic paint actually almost made me bang my head against a wall. Everything in the house is totally wired and trapped so that nowhere is safe. Things only get more absurd from here. The film keeps springing absurd deus ex machinas on us to keep the film a certain way - such as family members who despite knowing the danger they are in, behave like total arses just so the film can commit SAW-esque acts of trap dismemberment. It's infuriating.

The Collector, pre-Glastonbury.

The killer also frustrates, because although he is a hulking and frightening presence, his motives are unclear and his foresight borders on clairvoyance. The film might be called 'The Collector' but there's a remarkable lack of 'collection' going on. For a film that seems to focused on what its killer is, the only references to him being any kind of collector are made at the beginning and the end, with one in the middle ('He collects....people!' apparently). At least we knew Michael Myers was a weapon-wielding killer who just wanted to knife his sister. He is essentially a less mouthy Jigsaw, which again rather embarrassingly reveals the origins of The Collector as a prequel to Saw. The characters exist largely to be slaughtered or in the case of the elder daughter, to remove her clothes in a depressingly gratuitous fashion before being slaughtered (seriously, haven't we moved on from this sort of thing guys?).

It might sound like I'm taking the film to pieces for being terrible, but I'm really not. It's not half bad, I'm just bemoaning its lack of originality and how psychotically the film adheres to rules that are virtually prehistoric in their origin. The invincible killer, the idiot cop...I mean seriously, we're going way back here. It's frustrating given how good the opening half hour or so is, and how derivative the rest of it is. The Collector is okay, basically, but it's just depressing that more effort wasn't taken to not make it 'SAW in a house'. Having said that, it's about a bajillion times more competent than the Nightmare on Elm Street remake, and has a refreshing simplicity to it. So works well for a while, but then sadly lets itself down. Alas.